Officer, here’s my AARP card-

I know it will be tempting- you have been bombarded with fliers, brochures, and who knows maybe e-mails (that will teach you not to enter those make-over contests!)  You have sent your money in, or better yet, have had this transaction processed electronically. The card arrives early, but clearly states it is not valid until the date of your 50th birthday-

What is all the fuss about- you don’t remember getting your AARP card? I know, that little card tucked inside your wallet that validates your position in the 50+ group. Somehow telling my weight at the DMV does not seem so stressful… I mean even though we all know not a woman in this country reveals her “actual” weight to DMV  personnel who are usually leering over readers with a “yeah right” look in their eye. If I had to present a validation card of some sort: age or weight– baby, give me that age card any day of the week.

This is the beauty of “comparison shopping.”

When faced with what seems like a dreadful condition, we must force ourselves to look  alternatives- as I put on my makeup in the morning, I take note of my “aging” years.  I remember a spring day a couple years ago when I went shopping with my little sister. As we were in a hurry, I grabbed my makeup as we ran out the door. I would just  put it on in the car- NOT- do not ever look at your face close up in the mirror outside. This is a heart-stopping event. You will wish for some memory loss. Thank goodness Susie (my darling little sister) had already experienced this.

She braced herself for the fall-out. “OMG,”  I shouted, “I look 90 years old!”” She pulled into the parking lot of Publix calming me with her best school-teacher voice, telling me everything was going to be alright.  Bless her heart, I am the big sister- now a wiser one.

Ignorance is not bliss, in this case it is a conscious choice. Sure, I could go sit outside every morning, get a nice big dose of reality. Or I can bask in the glow coming from my fluorescent camouflage light. As we get older, we must constantly weigh our options. We must choose the most advantageous method, angle or approach to things which meet our individual goals in life.  So, I continue to put my makeup on inside, keep my AARP card tucked safely in my wallet and fudge a little on my drivers license.

**side note tip -we think we are fooling those law enforcement guys, but word has it, most know women stretch it, i.e. lie, on the weight section- I’m just sayin’

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