Download Dodgeball

Why isn't the downloaded file lime green?

Did you ever play Dodgeball as a child? Pretty straightforward- as you would guess. Someone kicks the ball; you dodge it. Now, before you think I am about to disappoint you with news that I am signing off  savor the ride to pursue my writing career on ESPN, never fear- a connection does exist between kick ball and my story, honest! As I searched endlessly this morning for a file I JUST DOWNLOADED, I decided that my downloaded files play dodgeball with me on a regular basis.

Regardless of the notes I take, or the stickies I attach on every immovable object near my computer telling me where a file is, the file is never where I expect it to be. Now when most people would just slough it off, going on to their next endeavor in life, I cannot. My Mommy calls it the ‘rusty fish hook syndrome,’ as in she hangs in there like a rusty fish hook. I just will not give up.

What’s with all the ‘download’ files anyway? Why can’t we have just one? Give me a good reason. Another one for you. Why can’t photographs, when downloaded, immediately go to the pictures folder on your computer that has all your pictures in it, not some obscure picture folder that has one shot of Aunt Mabel in it?

Maybe I’d feel differently if I were in my youth. You see dodge ball is not just played in grammar school as I so misguidedly thought prior to my research for this post. What, you didn’t know bloggers research for their posts? Shame on you- you think I walk around with this stuff in my head! No, hours are spent finding morsels of information to interweave with my tales.

Zoom to camera one:

Documentation still out to see if the U. S. Army Corps of Cadets largest  dodgeball game of 3,500 did, indeed, break the Guiness Book of Records for the largest dodge ball game ever played. Held May 18, 2011, these 3500 cadets were divided into two teams and faced off with 84 faculty members serving as referees. You do remember dodge ball rules, right?

  • If player is hit by a ball, he (she) is out
  • If player catches a thrower’s ball, the thrower is out
  • This was a single elimination game (help me here on this one- does this just mean, if you’re out, you’re out?)

Now, as I resume my hunt for my file, I will be pondering my technique and tactics I am going to implement during the next Johnson clan gathering. In doing this, I’m sure to find my missing files, won’t I?

Note: Any savor the ride downloading experts, please feel free to step up to the line and help me out (the line divides the two teams) ;-)

photo by istock

Remember, I’m a Geek Rookie

First, let me apologize if you receive via email and yesterday’s post landed with a black box instead of a photo. Oh, and the best part: the font size was ~2. As they say in Denmark, something’s rotten in Denmark.

This is a trial run. Just know I’m working on it. Remember I just made the big switch to a Mac. I will repost yesterday’s post from LT’s laptop. Promise.

ps- when I know it’s fixed- or I will distribute Vera Bradley readers. ;-)

Thesis and the Humor Blogger

Writing a blog requires guts, but being funny adds a spin few are capable of. Those talents usually aren’t coupled with the dog-eared determination needed to conquer the computer gremlins. The gremlins know who they are, believe me.

A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to increase the margins on savor the ride . No, you cannot just zip up, and move the margin tab over. You gave that life up when you walked into the HTML world.

Behind the text on those fancy websites lie little codes, seemingly innocent sit tied together with strange symbols.

Yes, you could throw the towel in, bolt, and join the orange crowd over at Blogger. But, damn, you hate orange.  You want to be king of the mountain, the captain of the ship. You now own your domain. You want to use it. You keep going, determined not to give up over a few computer codes.

Then during a search for help + get + me + through + this + damn + mess + Word + Press, a gentle soul points you toward The Thesis Theme for WordPress encouraging you with promises of endless support, minimal gremlin contact and fancy, smancy results.

I know you do not know what in the hell Thesis is. I didn’t either. I sat in your seat. I didn’t give up. Don’t leave me now- I promise, this gets better. No, not that much better. You will not, I repeat, you will not be addressed as Dr. when you leave this site. You are not writing a thesis, subsequently, you will not be receiving your PhD.

Word Press is a blogging platform many use to publish their blogs. (Do not ask me what a platform is. I know I can’t wear platform shoes anymore.) I have an image of a space station where my blog sits.

Things like <me//date> actually mean something. Baby, you leave one of those slash marks out, and your layout looks like the Weekly Reader before it went to the copy editor

For example, you decide you do not want the date to appear under the post title. In Word Press, you would need to mosey into the innards of the platform to change the format of the code. OR

  • Open Thesis, go to a button marked Site Design, and click it. Immediately, a button labeled Bylines appears. Unclick the show publish date, and the little gremlins run in and move everything around- poof – no dates

This is a no-brainer. Thesis costs money. You can use Word Press with many different free themes.- yes, word press is free- let those guys run around with the gremlins, I need to focus on my writing. My guts are needed here. Because when it is all said and done, life is much harder for a humor writer.

C’mon, if you are writing about the complexities of life or why search engine optimization (SEO) is critical, you can fake it for awhile without anyone screaming.

But, put me in front of you with a dull story.


Your immediate thought- “now, that was a waste of my time.” even if you had absolutely nothing else to do with those 2.03 minutes. Your 2.03 minutes are a big damn deal in my life.

But, do not feel sorry for me. I picked this job. No one is holding a Kashi bar in front of me as a reward.

I write savor the ride for you, my reader. I hope I put a little spring in your step and give you a good story to tell your friends “ridgely is a hoot, one day she is walking around a parking lot looking for her car, the next day, she is comparing a writing platform to a space station.”

Please tell your bored friends to read savor the ride. If you haven’t signed up to get the posts as soon as I publish them, sign up today.

I had fun for 2.03 minutes.

I hope you did, too.

Talk  to me.

Sign up.

I am an affiliate associate for Thesis. This means if you click through from my page, and decide to purchase the program, you help savor the ride, i.e. me. This also tells the world you listen to good advice.